MYSTIC VICKI

This last week I have been reminded of both how lovely most people are and how they try their hardest to learn Spanish. Also of how great it feels when students enjoy the courses and see an improvement on their Spanish as a result of our classes.

Unfortunately I have also been reminded of how difficult and disagreeable some people can be and unreasonable in their expectations.

We can only give people the tools for learning Spanish we cannot learn it for them or improve their lives or personalities unfortunately.

Last Saturday was the Conversation Saturday. One lady had actually booked in quite a while ago. I thought she had studied Spanish with me many moons earlier, she said she knew enough Spanish to have a conversation. The day before the course she sent me a message asking for the address which I duly sent, and told her there would be a pink van parked outside, and that we started at 10:00.

Saturday arrived, along with the other students and the Spanish speakers, but this lady did not arrive. So we started without her. I went upstairs to work on the computer. 20 minutes later the doorbell rang and it was her.

I looked out of the window, I did not want to open the door as my dogs were barking and I didn´t want them to run out and scare her. I told her through the window the classes were downstairs- and I could see immediately she was not happy. An elderly lady, I worried she might have a problem going down the ramp:

“Are you ok?” I aked

“I suppose so”- she barked, “How do I get in?”

“Well you just go down and knock and the teacher will let you in- Would you like to come in this way instead?”

“No” she snapped.

2 minutes later I heard the door open downstairs so I knew she had entered.

I carried on working upstairs and could hear a lot of talking going on so presumed that it was going well. About 15 minutes later I heard the door open again and everyone calling “adiós” and “hasta luego”. I looked out of the window and the lady was walking off up the road.

One of the Spanish speakers came up to tell me what had happened. Apparently she had come in with a face like thunder (“con mala leche” as we say in Spanish), complaining that she had been walking around San Miguel for 30 minutes, that she had thought the course was in the restaurant, that she needed water and a chair.

Both those were there waiting for her so she sat down and the Spanish speakers tried to reassure her by drawing her gently into the conversation.

“¿Qué haces en Navidad? – What do you do at Christmas?”

“No me gusta Navidad- I don´t like Christmas”

“¿Tienes mascotas?- Do you have any pets?”

“No me gustan las mascotas- I don´t like pets”

And more in that vein, short, irritated answers.

I mean, how dare you ask questions on a conversation course?

Finally, she snapped “I have to go” and stood up and went to the door. The teacher asked her-

“Are you ok?”

“YES”

“Do you want me to call Vicki down?

“N0”

She snarled—

To be honest it was a relief. When we went for out lunch later Maria from the restaurant said she had been in there looking for me and she had pointed her in the right direction.

Why – I have no idea. I had sent her the address and told her exactly where it was. However, her leaving meant the course went smoothly and everyone enjoyed it so much. I hope she is ok, but sometimes people are their own worse enemies. You do not do a conversation course if you don´t want to speak, and being “mayor” is no an excuse for being “antipática”.

Ironically, later on the Monday a few days later I saw a post on one of the buy and sell sites from someone asking for recommendations for Spanish classes. This very same lady answered recommending her daughter who apparently does Spanish classes in 6 different bars!! Now I am even more confused why she even booked on to our course. You just could not make it up.

So that was Saturday. Then on the Sunday I was already feeling nervous due to some new students who were starting Monday with whom there were already problems.

This couple had booked the last 2 spaces on the course starting that day. Then a week earlier, the lady had messaged me to say that they had been over to check the location and there may be a problem. Was there a window? As she was claustrophobic. (Our classes are held in the underbuild of my house.)

So I said no, there wasn´t, but it was not a small pokey basement, it was large and spacious and light. However, they could sit upstairs if they preferred, where there was plenty of natural light instead.

Oh no, she said, they wouldn´t want to be separate from the rest of the group.

Ah ok, well they would be separate anyway as people can´t sit together due to Covid? But fine, they could sit right next to the door and we could leave the door open then as it was coming to summer anyway…

Oh no, she said, she wouldn´t want to inconvenience the other students.

Ah ok. In the end I promised we would find a solution one way or another.

I restrained then from saying that is claustrophobia was a real issue for you in my eyes it would be imperative that you looked into all this before booking.

Although many years ago I dressed up as a gypsy fortune teller for a charity event, I am not really Mystic Vicki, and funnily enough could not have known this lady was claustrophobic before. Not once in over 10 years of teaching here has this ever been an issue, and so why would I ask?

The terms and conditions of bookings stated quite clearly on the website are that monetary refunds are never given, though I always try to offer alternatives if someone cannot do a course for any reason. This lady seemed to be insinuating that I should have asked first if she was claustrophobic for some unknown reason, and the reason I didn´t was some sinister one.

Anyway, they arrived for classes and predictably she did not even sit down and try. She was “going already” according to her as soon as she walked in. We had positioned them next to the door and left the door open, but this was not good enough as she had to see the street “properly” whatever that means.

I absolutely have total sympathy for anyone who is claustrophobic, it is awful, but I just cannot imagine why you would book on to a course, or in fact anything without finding out if the place was suitable for you first. If your claustrophobia was so bad surely you would always want to ensure wherever you were going was within your parameters of tolerance.

However, apparently it was all my fault as I should have known by osmosis that she was claustrophobic and let her know there was no window. I should be “ashamed of myself” according to her and they had been advised to make a denuncia. (Denounce me for not being psychic?) Also she was going to blacken my name on Facebook

Well. I have had had worse threats and actually the more nasty she became the less bad I felt about the whole situation and the more my sympathy dissipated. I just wonder when it became my responsibility to work out if other people are claustrophobic or not? Maybe I should add to my adverts- not for persons with claustrophobia?

I mean, is it me? I always try to put my students first and be as flexible as possible, but being clairvoyant I really cannot promise. I still offered her the option of sitting upstairs or even joining in on Zoom, or converting to private classes, but no. She was determined from the start to not be happy with whatever I offered.

Another happy customer 🙂

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